Day One

Day One

Everything, somewhat looks the same. As the morning creeps by, the afternoon sun high in the sky creeps by as usual only isn't as bright as it was yesterday. A cool blue light now lines the sidewalks and buildings. It's the middle of summer and it's comfortable out, like if the world is being cooled by a giant fan. It's part of a new way too prevent any more deterioration our so I'm told. Yesterday it became official that a liner would be placed in the atmosphere, held together by the international space station. Too lower the temp of the planet, preserve what we haven't lost. Start on our way to healing  the world. But then again, they've told us all sorts of things. It's not like we can look somewhere else for another opinion. Work is almost business as usual, at my local market I see the same faces I saw two weeks ago. Only we aren't using change anymore. Not that I miss that from a cashier point of view, don't miss that at all. I haven't seen the damage really, I was fortunate enough to be in one of the few cities spared by shear luck. Maybe being on the coast saved us, or maybe it really was just dumb luck. They won't let anyone see the damage, no newspapers. Just television news, trying to boost moral and detract from the horrors humanity has just experienced. This is about the only way I keep sane anymore. Well maybe I'll make this for the future people to read because I'm sure it isn't really over. I know something else is bound to come. This is too strange. About 3 months ago, disaster struck everywhere, everyone. The earth shook below my feet and I stood in my bedroom. My head spun, and a wave of nausea struck me and I felt like the entire house was in a twister. I watched my lamp sway unnaturally and I felt such panic and all of a sudden it just stopped. I collected myself, I was sure I was getting sick because that just doesn't happen. Not here anyway. When I turned on my TV, I saw nothing. None of the TV's had a damn thing showing but a black screen. Not even the emergency broadcast. Phones, nothing, computers, nothing. Total media darkness. If it wasn't for the sun being out we would have been in complete darkness, and we all know everyone is afraid of the dark though most won't admit that. I went downstairs and out my front door, saw every neighbor who stood home that day talking amongst themselves, all similarly confused. I sat on my stoop waiting for my parents to come home, I just didn't know what else to do. I was sick from the lack of information, there was fear simmering just waiting for the news so it could boil over my body. A military grade Humvee approached our block and stopped among the grouped neighbors. I walked over, I needed to know what the hell was happening because it definitely wasn't going to be ok, not for a very long I just knew that, I sensed it. A uniformed soldier came out of the vehicle and addressed everyone with no expression on his face, no tell tale signs of panic in his eyes or worry in his voice. Calmness poured out of him, and it eased me slightly, as it eased all the others. He spoke clearly and informed us first and foremost that we were fine and then he said something that made no sense to my ears, I could of sworn he was speaking any other language then my own. My brain just wasn't able to comprehend the news, the words, the impossibilities. A war was started and that very second, we were the battlefield. Those months til now, were piles of nothing. We haven't been allowed to leave. We had to modify our lives to a small city and treat it as an entire country. News was one channel, one feed to us to keep us from feeling entirely helpless. We are far from The Border, they keep it that way so no one can see what the damage really is. Our jobs have now been made to be done within close quarters, our lives like farm animals. Today I grew tired, I made my decision. I'm leaving, I'm going to escape, I want to see what's out there. You, notebook, are all I can bring. I've packed paper, pens, pencils, a Swiss army knife, and a BB pistol. I'm not sure how much a BB pistol will do against a gun and bullets but I have hope and I have excellent aim. Shooting for the eyes is my only defensive strategy if I need it. I know I will. The Border as I began calling it, is after a series of military outposts set up all over the skirts of the city. There must be something out there. I haven't heard of any violence with people trying to get out. It surprised me actually. But then again, there might have been but there is no one who came back, or lived to speak of it. Definitely no news about it on the screens.  I have nothing left here. My parents never came home that day, 3 months ago. It's like they vanished. No news of what had happened to them. No way to find out.  I was informed not to worry, I can live just as I was, rent and bills were no longer a concern. Just live as you were before. Food was given, no one fought, argued, or questioned. It still is that way, except for me that is. I don't know of anyone else who thinks like me now. I'm too scared to ask. I remember, just the wave of calmness. An invisible reassurance from an unknown sources. Two weeks ago I decided to strap on an old pair of roller blades and skate around my house, something I enjoyed doing before everything changed. I slipped and hit my head on the wall. I hit the wall hard enough to put myself in a daze and when I sat back a high pitched ringing pierced my ears. I took of my skates and followed it too the source, my old wireless router. I unplugged it and my heart sank. I cried hysterically for hours. With no one to console me, my mind raced. Images of my family, memories flooded my brain. I stood there, in that same spot, the plug dangling beside me for 2 days. Sobbing uncontrollably then just staring at nothing. And then I decided that I had to go and look for something. I still don't know what I'm doing, I want to find something. I'm leaving tonight. I have too, I just wish I didn't have to look alone...